What Happens In a Mediation?
What is important for you to know is that the mediator does not take sides in the dispute or make a decision about which party is right or wrong. Instead they work with you and the other party, along with your lawyers, to facilitate a mutually acceptable solution as part of your separation.
We want to ensure that anyone taking part in a mediation process has a full understanding of the processes involved. Knowing what a mediation may look like can put you at ease and help you get the best outcome from the process.
Sometimes mediations can not be done face-to-face and during the pandemic where social distancing was necessary, some mediations occurred via video conferencing. However there can be other reasons why both parties may not be able to be in the same room. We have put systems and technology in place to make this possible.
The Mediation
There is no one fixed mediation process as different mediators use different processes, have different skill sets and adopt varied styles. Your lawyer will assist you to select and engage the right mediator to assist given the issues involved, the dynamic with the other party (and their advisor) and the complexity of your situation.
It is not a case of one mediator fits all.
Depending on the mediator selected, they may then choose to meet with both parties separately for an ‘intake session’ to discuss any concerns and what each of your desired outcomes might be.
The information discussed in these conversations will be used by the mediator to help determine how they will conduct the discussion and negotiation.
Both parties’ legal representatives may then be asked by the mediator to make opening statements on behalf of their clients. The focus at this time is to work out what the main issues are and narrow them down to two categories. What both parties are in agreement about already, and what issues there’s disagreement about – and need to be negotiated.
The mediator will usually then ask each party to consider options for settlement. They may also ask one party to make an offer to the other. These offers are typically exchanged until an agreement is reached. Negotiations can take place either in a joint session or separately.
If you choose to do the mediation separately (which is most often the case for separating couples working through family law issues) the mediator will convey the offers back and forward between the parties and may make suggestions on the framing of offers.
This is an approach that is seen to be most effective in family law because typically each spouse may not feel comfortable, are emotional or may be fearful of the other person. This allows each person to be best placed to make decisions without pressure and with the assistance of their legal advisor.
Usually, for this process, each person would be in a different room with their lawyer and the mediator would go back and forth. However, this process can also be replicated via technology with separate phone calls or video calls between the parties and the mediator, where distance is an issue.
Am I Allowed to Bring a Support Person?
Yes, you are welcome to bring a friend or family member with you to the mediation if you believe it will help you on the day. However this is something best discussed with your lawyer well in advance.
If you choose to bring somebody with you, they must not inflame the dispute or obstruct the prospects of a settlement. Because of this, we recommend that you discuss the name and relationship of the person you wish to bring with you, before the mediation with your lawyer.
What is the Role of the Lawyer?
The mediation process is very different from the Court process as the aim of the day is to reach a mutual consensus. Therefore, your lawyer will act differently to how they would in Court. It is more likely they will calmly discuss the case with other practitioners, rather than advocate in the same way they do in a Court setting.
During times of mediation an aggressive approach will more often than not minimise the prospects of settlement rather than increase it.
Your lawyer will be there to guide you through the process respectfully and work with the mediator and the other lawyer to positively problem solve.
Your Role in the Mediation Process
It is your role to consider any offers of settlement, with the assistance of your mediator and lawyer so that you can make the best informed decisions about whether to reject or accept those offers.
You will need to instruct your lawyer and the mediator on whether you wish to accept or reject any offer and if required consider what counter-offer you might like to bring to the table. Your lawyer plays an integral role in managing the negotiation process, taking into account their knowledge of the mediator and other lawyers involved and their experience.
The mediator will advise you of any offers and counter-offers from the other party, but the final decision is up to you.
At no point during the process should you feel any pressure to come to an agreement if you do not feel comfortable with what you have been offered. It is important to remember that this is a voluntary process and the mediator or your lawyer is not the decision maker.
If at any point during the mediation process you begin to feel uncomfortable, you should let the mediator know so they can address the problem and resolve your concerns. You should especially tell them if you are feeling fearful, overly anxious or overwhelmed. In these situations, you are allowed to take a break. Taking breaks can be beneficial to the mediation as it can allow you to clear your head, calm down or refocus.
It is important to remember that the aim of this process is to resolve the issues in dispute. Coming to an agreement often requires both parties to compromise.
Reaching an Agreement
Once an agreement has been reached at mediation, the terms of the agreement will then be set out in writing and signed. Once the documents have been formalised, usually in the days immediately following the mediation, these will then also be signed and then lodged with the Court to become an Order. It is important to keep in mind that the agreement is not final until the Order is made.
What Happens In a Mediation When an Agreement Is Not Reached?
If at the mediation, you do not come to an agreement, your lawyer will discuss the next steps with you. Then you will both need to work with your lawyers to determine the strategy going forward, which may include making further offers, or a determination by the Court.
As your family lawyer, we are there to prepare you for and support you through the mediation process. Preparation and obtaining all the necessary information needed for you to make informed decisions and negotiate the issues is key to the success of the mediation.
We will work with you in advance of the mediation to be best prepared for the process and the different variables that may arise so you are well informed and know what to expect.
Related Information
- Family Law Mediation: Resolving Parenting and Property Disputes
- Custody Rights? Child-Focused Parenting Arrangements
- Processes to get to an agreement after separation: property and finances
- Has your divorce settlement stalled? How to get it back on track
- Separation & Divorce Without Court: The 4 Steps Before A Dispute Can Go To Court
- Family Law Mediation: Resolving Parenting and Property Disputes
- Why you need to be acting on your parenting arrangements or property settlement now
Additional Separation & Divorce, Children & Parenting, Property Settlements Information
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