While recommendations from friends or family may be a great resource, it’s important to remember that one size does not fit all. In this guide, we will cover the top considerations we believe can help you understand how to choose a family lawyer that is right for you.
Ideally, the relationship between you and your lawyer should be a short lived one, with your matter being resolved quickly and amicably. However, there is always the possibility that you could end up needing their support for longer than anticipated, so selecting the right one for you, even if all seems amicable and straightforward right now, is incredibly important.
1. Know How You Work Best
Knowing how you work best can help you to identify what you need from your lawyer and how you want the relationship to work. Consider yourself in the workplace or when planning a project around home. How do you prefer to operate?
- Are you most interested in the “big picture” plan?
- Are you more detail oriented – looking to understand each step of the plan and the mechanics involved?
- Do you want to be able to meet in person?
- Do you prefer to meet remotely?
Choosing a family lawyer starts with understanding yourself. It is an important prerequisite in terms of how you best function and work with others. Do you want to know how to build the bridge or do you just want to cross it?
2. Identify Your Priorities & Red Flags
Once you have thought about the questions above, you can then begin to consider how your family lawyer will work with you and guide you through the process. As with any relationship, a mismatch in priorities can be detrimental to the overall outcome.
What’s most important to you?
You may be looking to resolve your matter quickly and amicably, or your priority may be that the process is handled as cost effectively as possible. Unfortunately, there are also those who come looking for a family lawyer, determined to make things difficult and drawn out for a current or former partner.
If you have been referred to a family lawyer for an initial consultation, ask them for more information to see if it matches back to your objectives and priorities.
- What style of approach do they use?
- What are their values?
- Do they work exclusively in family law?
Coming to an initial consultation with a bit of information about your family lawyer could help you identify further questions to ask. This can help you to determine if they will be a good fit for you and what their approach to resolving matters like yours will be. Additionally, while it’s not critical, choosing a family lawyer who works exclusively in family law, will mean they have more experience and depth of knowledge about how to help you and your children, most effectively.
Warning signs or red flags to look out for during an initial consultation may include:
- A lawyer who is quick to provide advice without taking the time to know your full story.
- A lawyer who makes sweeping statements about likely outcomes.
- A lawyer who stokes any anger you may be feeling, rather than simply listening to your concerns.
No matter your initial emotional state, a good family lawyer will help you move through emotions, including pain and anger to a place where you are able to resolve your matter in a way that is best for you and any children that may be involved.
3. Identify Your Unique Circumstances
Every family law matter has its own unique circumstances and challenges. However, there are some situations that are more complex than others and will benefit from specialist insights and experience.
For example:
- Safety, health or medical needs for children
- International parenting arrangements
- Complex financial structures
- Business interests
- International assets
Choosing a family lawyer who specialises in family law, and spends each day helping people with matters like these daily, is essential.
Sharing this important information when meeting with potential family lawyers will enable you to gauge their experience.
4. Be A Co-Pilot, Not A Passenger
One of the greatest complaints people going through any legal process often have, is that they do not understand, or are not aware of, what the next step is. This is often because a client feels that the legal process is being entirely driven by their lawyer.
As experienced family lawyers, we always explain to our clients that we want them in the driver’s seat alongside us. We do not want to have a situation where they are feeling like they are in the back of the bus with no idea where they are going or what is happening. We want our client to be aware, for example, if we have written to the other lawyer and that we are waiting on a response, and that if the response is positive, the next step will be ‘X’. Equally, we want our clients to know that if the response is negative, then we might have to look at an alternative step.
Essentially, we want people to understand and be completely on board with the plan and strategy. You should feel that communication is open and forthcoming throughout the process.
We like our clients to be the ones with their foot on the accelerator or the brake. If they want to speed things up or slow things down, it is entirely up to them.
5. Beware The Sales Pitch
When you first meet with a potential family lawyer, it should feel like you are getting to know someone, not like you are being sold a product.
Oftentimes, it is wise to meet with more than one lawyer, in order to find the person that feels right for you. However, when choosing a family lawyer, you want to avoid falling into a situation where your decision is based on feeling good with one lawyer, primarily because they tell you what you want to hear, rather than what is true.
Once you have explained your situation and painted the picture of your desired outcome, your family lawyer can inform you of the steps that can be taken to achieve that goal. With the right information available, they will also be able to tell you a range of potential outcomes based on your situation.
That being said, it is important for you to be okay with honesty from your family lawyer.
If you do not like what you hear at any point, ask questions and ensure that the lawyer understands your overall goal. It may be the case that the steps that are needed to get to that bigger goal may not be what you had envisioned. Avoid a lawyer who simply tells you what you want to hear. It is unfair to you and creates false hope.
Look for a family lawyer who is going to give it to you straight. Someone who is honest with you and who gives you a range of potential outcomes early on, rather than a definitive answer from the get go. Sometimes you wont like every step of the process but a good family lawyer will use their experience and expertise to get you to your overall goal in the most effective way.
How To Choose A Family Lawyer
Set aside some time to consider each of these recommendations to help you determine who will best support you and your needs.
Choosing a family lawyer is one of the most significant decisions you will make. If you expect you will only need your lawyer in the short term, make your selection carefully so if ever the course changes, you are in the best possible hands.
Related Information
Additional Children & Parenting Resources, De Facto Relationship Resources, International Family Law Resources, Separation & Divorce Resources Information
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